Bootylicious Confessions in the Freakin Suburbs

Originally Written February 08

So here I sit with a negative balance in my checking account and $4.39 on my Capital One Card.  Oh! Correction! I spent that $4 on a Grande Extra-Caramel, Caramel Frapuccino.

   

 

 

The elixir of the goddesses                  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 You have to order it like that or else it throws the whole thing off.  It’s cool, I like speaking in code.  It is kind of spy-like, Jane Bondish if you will.  So yeah, pretty much I’m broke, with my business bank cards and personal credit cards tucked away in my cute little Prada bag (one of those wonderful Korea finds). Could be a knock off.  Okay, who am I kiddin?  But it is very cute, matches my IPhone, you know, chic like that (the IPhone is one bill that is always paid early cuz a Diva Muse has to have her cell phone. I know it’s shallow, that’s my alter ego talking).

 

                                  Terracotta and graphite drawing of the cutest little Prada Bag ever.

Oh and did I mention that the hot water heater is busted in this big ass ostentatious house that we are renting?  Add that to the four times we had to call the heater guy out this past winter and I would have to say quite sarcastically that the obscene amount of money we pay each month must surely be worth it.

 

Sidebar: Why did the Barista taking my order ask for my first name while holding my credit card in his hand?  He never even looked at it.  It could have been your credit card, but I am sure you have more than $4.39 on yours.  He pretty much spelled my name wrong too. I don’t know who the person was that he put on my cup. But I am thinking that maybe I should be her for awhile. 

 

Back to the original thought. I am not bummed out by the lack of funds. How could I be when there are so many other things to be bummed out by like feeling invisible in my pseudo diverse suburban neighborhood or feeling like a failure because my kids think that I should have a better career besides Mom and Artist. Or figuring out that dogs actually whine like kids which is really annoying.  If nothing else is going my way, I do have to say, I’m still pretty hot for 37.  With looks and style like mine, who really cares if there is no hot water?

Ok, so a sistah can dream right?  LOL