To Stay or Not To Stay…

No one knows what makes a woman stay in a relationship with a man who clearly doesn’t love her the way he should. But is it really fair for someone who is not in the relationship to judge? Why is it any of our business? I have come to learn in life that people deal with life the best way that they can. They do the best they can because that is all they know how to do. And if they are like me and a lot of women I know, they don’t complain about it and if they do, they only complain about it to a select few. There are women who stay in situations because they are afraid to leave, or because they are in love (ooh novel concept) or because they really believe that they can make it work. Take for example, the lovely and beautiful Kim Porter, who is incidentally featured on the most recent cover of Jet Magazine. The world has watched her go through ups and downs with her on again, off again relationship with the infamous P.Diddy. I have seen her be labled a gold digger, greedy, a woman with low self-esteem, and a poor example to her daughters because she chose to be a mother and loyal to the man that she loves. Wow! When did staying with someone because you believe that it could work become equated with being a gold-digger? That is asenine! Much less famous, less rich women stay in far worse relationships and only they know why. It doesn’t make them bad women, or less worthy of praise for being loyal. It simply makes them individuals who made a different choice. I personally believe that Kim Porter and women like her should be patted on the back for having the moxie to see a situation through to the end whatever the reason, unlike a lot of people who just give up at the first sign of trouble. Would I have stayed in the situation? Maybe, maybe not. That was not my relationship and it is not my place to judge. Aside from physical violence, I believe that there is the possibility that any situation can turn around. People have been known to actually work through things and come out of it much better and stronger. So who really has a right to say what a person should do? I once had a friend who told me, “The hardest thing for a woman to do when her relationship has gone bad is to try and stick it out and make it work. It is much easier to leave.” Whether this is true or not, one thing is for sure. NO one but the person in the situation knows why she is choosing to stay. And many of us will never know what it is like to have the worst parts of our lives, the worst decisions we have ever made, and the hardest trials that we have had to endure paraded across an international stage for all of the world to judge based on their own limited and narrow experiences. Nor will we have people judge us based on a few minutes on television, a photo, or malicious gossip. I don’t know Kim Porter personally, and although I have been in a roller coaster ride of a relationship, I don’t know what it is like to be in her particular pair of Jimmy Choos. And I am not a hater, and I am not going to cast aspersions. But what I will do is wish her and her family the best and send good vibes her way, like a true Diva should, and hope that one day she and all of the women like her find the happiness that every woman deserves.