Whore to Housewife Part 1

In one of my online groups, the topic came up, Can you turn a whore into a housewife? I have to say right off the bat that I believe the title itself is an unfortunate one. But what bothered me even more is how the overwhelming majority of the people who responded to the question, responded with an emphatic, “no!” Come again? I am truly disturbed on so many levels by this whole topic.

First of all the question itself needs to be clarified. Basically, the idea of the whore was not meant in the traditional sense of the prostitute who receives money for sex. But rather the “Ho” version of whore, a female who sleeps with a lot of different men or who has an overly active sexual appetite. The prevailing idea was basically that once a ho, always a ho. She can’t be reformed from her whorish ways so no one should wife her.

So if we are to believe this line of thinking, then that means that a person who participates in this behavior is incapable of change. I am sorry but I have a hard time believing that. We are all capable of change and growth. Whether it is someone who sleeps around, or who has issues with drugs and alcohol, or someone who has a criminal past, people are not held hostage to their mistakes unless they allow themselves to be. By nature, as human beings, we will change whether we want to or not. Change is inevitable, either for better or worse. And we hope that most people opt to change for the better. But believing that people are incapable of change, cuts them off at the knees before they have had a chance to even get in the race

Another thing that bothers me about this whole whore idea is that women are really quick to call other women whores. We seem equally or even more willing than men to point the fingers at other women when it comes to this topic. This has always baffled me because it would seem that as women, we would recognize the emotions and feelings behind giving oneself in a sexual way to a man and how that is never really an easy thing to do without allowing some level of vulnerability to creep into our mindset.

We should understand better than men that this level of intimacy is usually far more valuable to us than it is to males. Many women equate the giving of their bodies with the giving of their hearts. And yet, when we encounter a woman who gives of herself very freely, it is almost as if we have some sort of resentment toward her as if she is somehow taking something away from us.

Typically women who have allowed themselves to be with many men or who are more sexually open have had some occurrence or issues in their past that is the catalyst for such behavior. But really, who among us is perfect? We all have some mistake or behavior that we participate or have participated in that others would frown on. Is that all we are? Are we beyond redemption? Will we only ever be the sum of all of our mistakes? I just can’t imagine that this is the case.

Every diva, every person has a dark side. For some that may be just a shadow and for others, it might be a black hole, but just as bad comes our way, good can come our way too. We don’t have to live in darkness forever, just like any seed, we have to break through the darkness below to rise up flourishing and flowering in the light. Emerging more beautiful, new, and and completely changed.