In order to better serve the readers of this blog, I have moved to a new home. The new site will have all of the same types posts as well as some added features. I am very excited about this new undertaking and I hope that you will join me as I grow. Please feel free to visit me at http://www.allthingsbootylicious.com or just click the link The Diva Muse and thank you so much for stopping by.
The Diva Muse
It never ceases to amaze me how, as much as we are alike as people, we are also very different. And I am always equally amazed at how the opinions of others will vary widely based on the individual experiences.
I was reading through an online discussion on staying pure until marriage. A very young woman was expressing how she wanted to wait until marriage to make sex sacred between herself and the man that she planned on spending the rest of her life with. She went on to say that although she is not a virgin, she realigned her thinking and has been celibate and plans on remaining that way until God sends her the man that will complete her.
I admire her sentiments, but I couldn’t help but think of how absolutely different her life and her decisions have been from my own. How I am sure her experiences have also been different from mine, and how those experiences have played such a large part in shaping who we have become.
After reading this, I couldn’t help but wonder how different my life would have been if I had been given the luxury of remaining a virgin until marriage and honestly, I don’t have any real concept of what that could possibly be like. You see, I didn’t have the option of choosing to be a virgin until marriage since my virginity, innocence, and childhood were taken away from me by the time I was 13.
Sex has been a dominant and constant theme throughout my life since I was about 7 years old. I was introduced to it too young, too soon, and with way too much detail for a child of that age. It has been all around me and thrust upon me eversince I can remember. The fact that I have any concept of what a healthy outlook on sex should be is nothing short of a miracle.
Still, I would be less than honest if I said that my past had absolutely no affect on my present. In other words, I wish that I could view sex as something sacred, but early exposure to it as well as the infidelities that I have witnessed have jaded me and tarnished my views in such depth, that I am almost numb when it comes to feelings about sex. Unlike many women I know, I don’t view my vagina as direct route to my heart. I guess that the ability to detach sex from love makes me in some ways like a man.
Somewhere along the line, I discounted the importance of virtue believing that if I chose to give it away when I wanted to meant that I was in charge. I found power in my ability to be openly sexual and adept at it. It in essence was my own personal art form for most of my life. It never occurred to me that I could also choose not do it, be celibate, once it had been taken away I guess deep down inside, I believed that if it could be taken away so easily, then it was something that I probably wasn’t meant to have.
When I realized as I got older that I had truly been violated and that something so precious was taken away from me, instead of shutting down and viewing sex as shameful, I became even more open minded and tolerant. I was not promiscuous by the standards of most but I was far from innocent. I have come to realize that I just don’t have a lot of the hangups that people do about sex and I really don’t know how to feel about that sometimes. I truly still struggle with thoughts of what is acceptable to many and what I feel to be true on the inside. The two worlds have collided privately in my mind and the online discussion has brought it to the forefront, at least for today.
I do know that if I believed that I had the option of being celibate as a way of reclaiming my virginity life would have been very different for me. Perhaps I would not have gotten married so young, or maybe I would have not experienced some of the intimacy issues that I have faced and am still facing. I don’t know that I would view sex as sacred though because strong views and opinions about it were instilled in me at such and early age an it is hard for me to see beyond that. If you believe something to be natural, it is very difficult to see the negative side of it.
I commend the young lady for standing by her convictions and I thank her for sharing them and offering the opportunity for me to step out of my own experiences for a moment and see things a different way. However, I also don’t regret the things that I have experienced in my life, the decisions that I have made, and the views that I have when it comes to sex, right or wrong. All of these things, the good and the bad, have contributed to making me who I am today, a perfectly flawed, sexually aware, beautiful and loving woman. And for my life, I truly wouldn’t have it any other way.
A few days ago, I was checking out different blogs about women when I came across a whole group of blogs dealing with the topic of being a Courtesan. It was fascinating to skim through the different blogs and take a sneak peek into the minds of different women who have used this profession as a way of making their living.
Without getting into the morality of the subject because I am sure the debate could go on and on about whether it’s right or wrong. Or the fact that some believe that the word courtesan is just a fancy way of saying prostitute. I have often wondered, if it is something that I could do. Well, I know it is something that I could do, but is it something that I would do?
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Okay so the Snoop Dogg tickets arrived. I know, the Diva Muse and snoop? How could I? Box seats! VIP passes! Oh heck yeah, I am definitely there.
It’s funny, I have listened to his music for as long as he has been famous, but he was never one of my favorite artists. Still he has some witty lyrics, some real catchy hooks, and his beats have always been funky. And then this last album, which is a complete departure from what I had heard in the past, really impressed me.
I saw him in a concert that he was performing in for the military last month. It was one of those with a bunch of different artists, and he was one of the featured ones. He completely rocked the house. I didn’t only dance, but I actually had fun.
I hope that as a headliner his performance is just as awesome. A fifteen minute performance is one thing, but a whole evening? Well, all I know is, he better bring it.
Either way, I will definitely be writing about it all. The good, the bad, and I am sure I will see a whole lot of ugly.
Since I am fairly new to the blogging world, I have been perusing different blogs to get a feel of what others are presenting in terms of content, design, and wit. I love reading blogs that are funny, sardonic, touching, informative, and/or written from a novel point of view. Our first Blog Review is a poetry blog that I have admired for a while, Ravens Wing Poetry: The Poetry of Nicole Nicholson.
I had my first glimpse into Raven’s Wing Poetry when Nicole commented on a poem that I had written and I have to say that I was more than impressed. She impressed me once again when she composed the poem Intuition inspired by Bootylicious Rule #7.
If you love poetry and even if you don’t you can’t help but be inspired by Nicole’s ability to bring forth a great deal of emotion while still using an economy of words. She makes the reader feel that each word has been carefully chosen to allow the reader an opportunity to see what she sees, not only with her eyes, but also with her heart.
Her latest post April 4, 1968 speaks about the day in which the world lost one of its most respected and revered leaders, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., taking us back to that moment in history that many wish had never taken place.
In her poem, Father, she offers a fleeting glimpse into her relationship with her father and how she is seeking to know him. This poem not only tugs at the reader’s heartstrings, but also prompts the reader to question her own parental relationships.
And my favorite poem, The Worst Advice That I Have Ever Received, is a surprising and humorous short poem essentially about not always listening to others, and following one’s own heart.
I do hope that you will take the time to pay a visit to this wonderful Poetry Blog. Nicole does an awesome job in touching the reader with her simple and refreshing poetry style. She is definitely a Poetry Diva. You will most certainly not be disappointed.
My hubby had his knee scoped on Thursday. He was a total surgery virgin, so it has been an ordeal with him from pre-op until this very moment. He was nervous about going under so from Tuesday until they wheeled him into surgery, he was acting really weird and cagey. I kept trying to reassure him that it would be the best sleep that he would ever have, but of course he didn’t believe me, he never does.
They had us arrive at 1100 am to the hospital, of course, they didn’t take him into surgery until almost 3. He is not a man who is used to missing meals, so of course as time went on, he complained about how hungry and uncomfortable he was because of course he couldn’t have anything to eat or drink after midnight the night before.
Apparently when he was wheeled into the OR, he was under the anesthesia, but didn’t know it because the doctor said that he was quite the comedian. I can’t imagine what he could have said in there and frankly I don’t even want to know. After the procedure, he was still high from the anesthesia and still talking way too much. But everything went well, and I was able to take him home. Suffice it to say, since Thursday, I have not had a full night’s sleep. I love him, but i gotta say he is quite the difficult patient.
In order to know what I am talking about when it comes to my patient, you have to know that he is an incredibly Type A, no nonsense, Army Officer who still looks 18 years old and is very fit and has never been seriously ill. Having said that, anyone who takes care of people for a living knows that this is the worst kind of patient. These types of patients have a sense of entitlement, they have to be reminded to say please and thank you. They drive the kids crazy because they order them around, and they try to recover too fast, almost ensuring a set back, which means that you have to take care of them even longer.
He was prescribed Percocet for the pain, but he can’t really take it because it makes him kind of loopy, and renders him unable to censor himself. The first two days I thought I would strangle him, but the feeling soon passed. He is now taking the Tylenol, but because his threshold for pain is not terribly high, the slightest bit of discomfort is just unacceptable for him. It is amazing to me how such a normally strong, strapping man, can be such a baby when he is in a little pain. Makes me proud to be a woman. We have can have debilitating PMS followed by even worse periods, birth the babies, still clean the whole house and still go to work the next day.
Last night he woke up at around 3AM complaining that he was cold and wanting to finish a conversation that we had earlier (during normal waking hours) where I did all of the talking and he just looked at me. I got him a blanket and told him to take his ass back to sleep. He will be on leave for another week. After that, I guess I will be able to get some sleep.
I do hope that his knee heals properly and that he is okay, not just for his sake, but for mine too. I am pretty much, running on coffee and adrenaline, but I am trying to be here for him. Still, I would be lying if I said that I didn’t wish for him to hurry up and get well soon.
There is a wide misconception that being sexy means being naked. That wearing a low cut blouse or having half your butt hanging out is a sign of true sexiness. This can’t be more wrong. But unfortunately many people have bought into this, which is why we see more and more women and especially teen girls being willing to take it off or show a little bit more to get noticed.
Sexiness has nothing to do with clothing or nudity, sexiness is a way of being, a state of mind. I wish I could yell it from the tallest building or make billboards for all to see and understand. Sexiness is most often not about sex and it is really is in the mind of the beholder.
As with everything though, there are some general things that go along with being sexy. So let’s talk about it. The first thing that comes to mind when thinking or describing what’s sexy or for our purposes, what is a sexy woman, I have often heard that it is in the way that she carries herself.
A sexy woman, no matter what size or shape feels very comfortable in her skin. It shows in the way she walks, sits, stands, and even her facial expressions. A sexy woman has a certain fluidity to her movements, she is usually very graceful and deliberate. Of course this isn’t always the case, there are exceptions. Some women are very sexy in their clumsiness. Not the kind of clumsiness where she walks like a linebacker, but clumsy like when she walks on her tippy toes in heels because she thinks that she is probably going to fall.
I have also heard it said that women who are smart are very sexy. Something about bookworms that seems to drive men crazy. So ladies, it is okay to read, or speak on an intellectual level, or to know stuff. Chances are, this is going to make you more desirable than if you stand there twirling your hair and playing helpless and dumb. Although, I am sure that these things have their place too.
One of the qualities that is sexy in both men and women is confidence. There is just something so appealing about a confident person. Someone who knows what they want, and how to get it. Someone who walks with their head held high, and who has a certain swagger. To me, this is the sexiest quality of all.
So when it boils right down to it, it doesn’t really matter if we are showing just enough skin to avoid jail time, or if our cleavage is up to our eyeballs, or even if we know the latest pole dancing tricks. What matters is how we feel about ourselves, how bootylicious we think we are even when no none else does and how we project our own personal brand of real sexiness to the world around us.
Save the drama for your mama it is not a new saying, but it is still a very relevant one. We all know her, that one friend who’s life is one movie after another. She is not alive unless there is some crisis, life threatening situation, or world ending scenario that she is facing.
She is the friend who sends the food back several times because it just isn’t to her liking, she complains about the movie or the choice of restaurant, or the sales clerk at the store, or her kids or her significant other constantly. Every time something doesn’t go her way, she believes it is because the world is against her or that people are out to get her.
I will be honest, people like this make me really tired. I have had more than one friendship fall by the wayside because I just couldn’t allow myself to be caught up in the day to day craziness that I was having to deal with every time I picked up the phone or spent time in their presence.
To read more on Bootylicious Rule #14, please visit my sister blog, All Things Bootylicious.
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Confessions of a Super Sexy Bootylicious Diva Muse 
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