Fashion and Sex

I was visiting the Marmalade Skies, a very interesting blog by Ms Penny Lane, a 20 year old college student in the UK. She asked the question in a very insightful post, is fashion just sex? And of course she went into far more detail than I will here, but I thought this was a topic worth exploring a little bit, so here are my two cents.

I do believe that a lot of fashion revolves around being sexy, but I have also found in my life that most women actually dress up for other women. And we tend to grow our hair long, make up our faces, and wear more revealing clothes for men. Most men don’t really care what you have on as long as they can catch a glimpse of skin or a curve here and there. But women can be catty, so you want to look your best in order to avoid criticism.

Think about it, we carry designer purses, and shoes, we take extra care to coordinate all of these things. But we don’t carry that purse for the men to notice. If a man did notice, we would assume that this wasn’t the kind of man that is interested in us for sexual reasons, if you know what I mean.

I do believe that the sexuality plays a role when you look at the competition between women. The woman who can show more skin, or fit into the smallest size somehow wins. The natural thought process behind this, is she who is skinniest is sexiest and therefore is the most desireable. Of course we know this is not the truth because after all, I am no where near skinny and I think I am just as sexy as they come. Just kidding… okay not really. = )

The bottom line, clothes are becoming more revealing, that is a fact. But there are men out there who think a woman in sweats can be sexy, or they may even find a woman dressed up in boy clothes to be a sexy departure from the norm. In my experience, if a man finds a woman to be sexy, it is usually not about the clothes, it is actually more about the woman.

If you are interested in reading more on this topic, please give Ms. Penny Lane a holla at Marmalade Skies, I am sure she will be glad to see you. Oh and to answer your question Ms. Penny Lane, you are not a pawn in the selling of sexiness. You simply want to look good as we all do. And not just for men, but for everyone. ( ;

Another Naked Thought

Okay, so this is the third post about some form of nudity in as many days. But I have to honestly say, given the choice between clothes and no clothes, I would choose to just put perfume on and go any day.

When you think about it, clothes are such a hassle. Nothing ever fits like it’s supposed to. If you have a little extra, you have to adjust it so it fits. Or add the dreaded foundation garments. Then there are all the bumps and bulges and ridges that you have to deal with if you weigh more than 100 pounds. A size 8 fits like a 10 or a 2 depending on the designer. And now, what is this skinny jean madness? I hated them the first time around in the 80’s and now they are back. I’m sorry, but boot cut and low rise will always be my friend, of course that is when the designer has half a brain to make the waist in the low rise pants wide enough to accommodate those of us who actually have hips and butts.

It is a never ending struggle to find the right outfit for the right occasion. Formal, semi-formal, casual. I could spend a lifetime picking out, coordinating, and accessorizing every outfit for every event. Or I could just go nude and add jewelry and cute shoes.

Think about it. Formal= A sparkly slip on shoe, diamond earrings and necklace to match and a cute little clutch for lipstick. Business Attire= Too easy, my birthday suit, pearls and black or navy pumps depending on the statement I want to make. Casual= Hello! Flip flops!!

Can you imagine how much time we would save in the morning? And if we get cold, Pashminas in every color or even a sleek poncho should do the trick. Just think of how much money we could save too.

I guess the only real problem with the whole idea though, is that if I am naked, everyone else would be naked too. And frankly, not everyone looks so good naked.

On second thought, maybe skinny jeans aren’t so bad after all.

Bootylicious Rule #11 – The Naked Rule

I have a bedtime rule in my house. When it is time to go to bed at night, the bed is a clothes free zone. If you are in violation, you must pay the other party a penalty of their choosing.

I absolutely love this rule. One, because it is extremely sexy. My man never has to worry about me going to sleep with flannel pajamas, socks or any other unsexy outfit. And two, I never have to buy pajamas.

I have actually been sleeping in the nude on and off since I was in the 8th grade. I remember spending the night at a friend’s house, and when we went to sleep, she took off all of her clothes and got in her bed. There was nothing sexual about it, she slept in the bed, I slept in a pull out on the other side of the room. She said that she has always slept under down comforters, and it was really cool at night and she liked the way that the soft comforter felt against her skin.

When I got back home, I decided to try sleeping without any clothes on. I didn’t have anything nearly as nice as her down comforter but I did appreciate the feel of the cool sheets against my skin, and I decided then that it was absolutely the best way to sleep. And now that I do have down comforters and amazing sheets with 600+ thread counts, I believe that I am achieving the optimal sleep experience.

Times when I do wear clothing in bed? When I am visiting someone else. You never know what could happen at someone else’s house, the sheets are not always as soft, and they my not appreciate you putting your naked behind directly on their bed.

And the other time, when I have visitors in my house. I know that my kids will not enter my room without knocking, but in case of an emergency, you never know what another person will do. For some reason, even though I keep a wrap by my bed, I feel better wearing something, even if it is shorts and a t shirt while I have more than the usual suspects in my home.

I am sure that a lot of people out there sleep in the nude, and I am probably just preaching to the choir. But if you are one of those who has only slept in a full length nightgown, bra, panties, chastity belt, and what ever else, maybe you should give it a try. Take it from someone who (when the kids are not home), cleans, paints, and cooks au natural, it makes for interesting fireworks later in the bedroom. Make it a sexy game for you and your partner, or if you don’t have a partner, just do it because it feels good, or simply because you can.

Who knows, you may like it so much, you may just stay home from work one day and spend the whole day like that. Trust me, it can be very liberating and besides who needs clothes when your own natural, beautiful nakedness can be so bootylicious?

Bootylicious Rule #10 – A Full Length Mirror Is Your Friend

Have you ever been out and about during the course of your daily life and happen to run across someone who clearly got dressed without realizing what they looked like from behind? I am not talking about someone who threw on a pair of sweats or shorts to run out of the house on a quick errand. I am talking about people who clearly are heading out somewhere, took the time to get dressed, may have even coordinated the outfit over some time, but obviously didn’t take the time to check out everything from all angles. Especially the angle that shows that side of you that you normally don’t see but everybody else can.

I have seen individuals with fluorescent underwear not peeking out, but hanging out of the top of their pants, skirts and shorts that are clearly too high in the back, but look just fine from the front, and panty lines so deep that they made the person look like they had four cheeks instead of two.

I have to believe that there is just no way that people would walk out of the house like that if they actually knew what was going on literally behind their backs. And how do you tell some complete stranger that their panties are making their butt look like the four square game that we used to play in elementary school, or that you can actually see their cheeks peeking out and waving at you from across the room and they are not even bending down?

It just breaks my heart to see otherwise attractive women who take time to painstakingly apply their makeup, ensure that their hair is perfectly coifed, and even shave or wax all of the hair from their bodies, and pay obscene amounts of money for an outfit and forget to look at how their backside may or may not look in that brand new pair of pants.

Before you leave the house next time, take the time to look in the mirror, turn around, bend over and squat, really see how the outfit looks from every angle including how that dress looks when the light hits it. Because seriously, if I have given up bras, do you think I am going to wear a slip? Nah, I don’t think so. But I am not gonna let anyone see the goodies through my skirt either.

And if you don’t have a full length mirror, ask someone in your house to check you out before you step out into the world. If there is no one in your house, go to a neighbor’s house. No it is not the end of the world, and you may be just fine with the attitude that ignorance is bliss, but try to do whatever you have to do to ensure that you put your best face and your best bootylicious assets forward. Because really, do you want to think that someone is writing blogs like this about you?
Exactly, I didn’t think so.

Bird Baths and Chips or Disgusting Habits That People Have That I Knew Nothing About

I just encountered an interesting occurrence in one of my online groups that I had no idea was taking place in the world. There are actually people who urinate in the shower. I may be a little naive here, but this is something that never would have even occurred to me if the topic hadn’t been brought up in one of my online groups.

The general idea here is that it goes down the drain, you are going to wash it off anyway, and it all goes to the same place. I am sorry to those who may do this, but I am thoroughly disgusted by this whole idea that some see as novel and time saving.

I mentioned that I thought that these things should be done in separate places. The whole point of being in the shower is to clean yourself correct? It would seem that bodily functions like peeing and the like should remain in the toilet. You wouldn’t poop or attempt to poop in the shower, that would just be disgusting, isn’t urinating there in many ways the same? And you certainly wouldn’t clean yourself with toilet water, so why use your shower as a toilet. I don’t get it.

I also commented on the fact that the whole act to me is the equivalent of spitting in the kitchen sink, an equally disgusting act in my opinion. Well no sooner than I posted my comment, a young lady in the group replied that although she thought peeing in the shower was gross, she didn’t see anything wrong with spitting in the kitchen sink, after all, used silverware has saliva on it and we put that in the sink. Uggh!!!

I am afraid to ask my husband if he has ever used our shower as a toilet. I saw him spit in our kitchen sink once and I almost lost my mind. So although I have never seen him use the shower in that manner, I really do have to wonder what he does when I am not there.

At this point, I am so grossed out, I may never eat or take a shower again. It may just be bird baths and chips for me from now on. ( ;

Braless Wonder

I have to make it known that I am so anti bra, it is not even funny. They itch, they tug, they pull, and they make your chi chi’s look like bullets.

The under wire always comes out just enough to poke you right in the most sensitive spot at the most inopportune times. Like when you’re giving a presentation or talking to someone really important. You can’t just say excuse me while I adjust my boob because the stinkin piece of metal is boring a hole through one of my mammary glands… Read More

Bootylicious Rule #9 Divas Don’t Wallow

We all have to deal with things in life that are not pleasant, or that make us sad, and sometimes things that may seem even downright horrible. And we have every right to feel the feelings that these events stir up in us; we should acknowledge them and deal with them as they come. But something we should never allow ourselves to do, no matter how tempting and easy it may be, is to let ourselves wallow in self pity.

It is so easy to get stuck in the cycle of feeling sorry for ourselves, or beating ourselves up, or even blaming ourselves for the the bad that comes into our lives. It is especially easy when we feel as if we have nowhere to turn or that no one understands. But we have to look within ourselves and find the strength that is sometimes lying dormant and draw from it to move beyond the things that threaten to keep us down and take us out.

Holding on to old hurts, or even dwelling too long on new ones can destroy not only our outlook on life, but our mental and physical health as well. The inverse of this, is dealing with the issues head on, speaking up when we need to, and or leaving situations that bring us discomfort and unhappiness. And drawing strength from the knowledge that others may be enduring something even worse than what we may be facing.

I am not saying that it is easy, or that we will always be towers of Teflon strength deflecting every evil that comes our way with ease and finesse so that nothing every bothers us. That is unrealistic. But I do believe that if we understand that sometimes we are going to have to endure pain, injustice, and even drama, we can prepare ourselves to go through it coming out only slightly bruised and more wise, rather than staying stuck in it and allowing it to destroy who we truly are.

This post was inspired by the article, After Yesterday’s Little Rant on
Lwayswright’s Webblog
Please check it out, it is definitely a good read.

Water

Bootylicious Blog Award Winner of the Week

Bootylicious Blog of the Week Winner SAY IT.
I absolutely love this funny, sometimes, irreverant, often endearing blog that showcases the randomness and not so random randomness from one woman’s mouth. She dares to say the things most of us are only thinking, and she does it in a witty style that makes you laugh, makes you think, and keeps you coming back for more. Be sure to check out articles from such categories as, Funny Shit, Bunch of Crap and Family and Kids, I am sure you will enjoy them as much as I do.
A big bootylicious smooch goes out to the author of Say It, our Bootylicious Blog Award Winner of the Week

Bootylicious Rule #8

It is just human nature to want to share wonderful things that happen to us, and most of the time, we will find that our friends and loved ones are eager to share in our happiness. We love to run and tell when we’ve closed on the house, or we have gotten a promotion or new job, or we have the new car we have been saving and longing to buy. But one thing that we should never be eager, or willing to share is the intimate details of our lives with our significant other. It is just a bad idea no matter what goodies, tricks, or endowments he may have.

Throughout my life, I have seen otherwise nice, sweet, lovely women turn into vultures when they find that their girlfriends have a good thing going on in the romance department. You could have a boyfriend who is as ugly as all out sin, but you start talking about how many orgasms you’ve had with him, or how he hit that elusive spot, and suddenly your man is Quasimodo turned Sexy Hunk in your girlfriend’s mind. All of a sudden she is having fantasies about kissing your frog and turning him into Prince Charming.

Of course, not all girlfriends are this feeble minded, but you have to be careful because even the oldest, lifelong friend who has been with you through thick and thin, can surprise you. She could act like she hates his guts and everything else about him, and she will probably be the one that you walk in on sucking face or others things with your man. So seriously, not a good look.

And keep in mind, you don’t have to be talking about something sexual to pique the interest of your dear friend. One of the things that the hubby and I used to do on the regular was go on date night. Every Friday night was our designated time no matter what our schedules, to spend time with each other. Most of the time we would go out to dinner or a movie or some other special outing. But even when we didn’t go out, we would do something special at home. It was a wonderful time for us to bond with each other aside from work, and kids, and other responsibilities that pulled us into a bunch of different directions. And because it was scheduled, we were able to ensure that it happened each week because neither of us was allowed to schedule anything in it’s place.

I began to notice that the women around me would make comments, some wistful, some snarky, but nonetheless, the prevailing statements were along the lines of, “Oh you have such a wonderful husband,” or “Ooh girl, your man is so romantic, I wish I had me one like that.” The kicker was, “Girl, you are so lucky, your husband is so handsome, and he loves you so much, you better watch out before someone takes him.” After that, whenever someone would ask about my weekend, I would just say, “Oh, we went out.” I share those special conversations with a very select few, mostly my sister, or friends who are much older and have their own relationships. I am not paranoid, but I do believe that a diva should know who she can trust and who she can’t and she should be really smart about it.

Ultimately, we all should be careful about what we choose to share and who we choose to share it with (see Bootylicious Rule #6) whenever it comes to our personal lives, but intimate details about our romantic relationships should be especially sacred.

Let your intuition be your guide, and remember what goes on in your bedroom, kitchen, car, backyard wherever, should stay in those places, and those memories should stay in your own mind and your own heart. Sexy secrets are some of the best secrets you will ever have.

Bootylicious Rule #9