The Evil One

You try very hard to fit in to the online community. It is by far a very easy way to network and socialize with other like minded and not so like minded individuals. You find a group that you gel with, you post in the threads, you even get bold enough to post a few topics, and then there is that one person, that one annoying, one negative, one confrontational person who just annoys the hell out of everyone. This person is rude, types all in bold letters, is anti everything and is always the one you can count on to go wildly against the grain of the rest of the group and then get highly defensive when someone disagrees. How do you deal with this person? Do you just ignore them, or do you stand your ground? Do you leave the group? Or do you let the person know how you feel and let them know to never address you in a post? How do you deal with someone who seems to embody pure evil?

On the one hand, it is just the internet. Most of the people are not really the persona that they try to portray and you will probably never meet them. But on the other hand, everyone should be able to express themselves in public, even if it is E-public and not have to endure a person who is obviously socially retarded. Is it so farfetched to expect individuals to be civil when dealing with others? I think not.

Where Have All the Manners Gone?

Do manners still exist? Or have we lost all semblance of common courtesy?

Today I was in line at Michael’s, the craft store and I had just finished making my purchase. I was situating myself, putting away my change and other things, (to include the receipt that the salesperson insisted upon putting in the bag even though I clearly had my hand extended to take it and put in my wallet) when the next customer along with her friends decided to move up right into my personal space. One girl was standing directly behind me practically breathing down my neck. So while I’m trying to get situated, I drop my change on the floor. I know I shouldn’t expect anything from anybody or jump to conclusions about what a person is thinking, but is it too much to ask for someone to offer to help me pick up my change or in the very least, not crowd my personal space? Instead the girl just stood there with her arms folded watching me search for my money and not moving out of my way.

A couple of weeks ago, I walked into the store that provides my cell phone service hoping to receive some help with my cell phone problem. The lady behind the counter was using her Blue Tooth earpiece to talk to a customer on the phone. She did acknowledge me when I walked in, although with no eye contact, but rather a simple, “I am helping a customer right now, I will be with you in a minute.” That wasn’t so bad I guess. Then another younger saleslady comes out and helps me. So I tell her my problem. “None of the sensors on my phone work. I can’t unlock it or dial out.” I try to hand her the phone, but she acts like she doesn’t want to touch it. She has this unconcerned look on her face like she had somewhere else to be. So anyway, I show her what I am talking about, pressing the screen repeatedly and holding up the phone so that she sees that nothing is happening. Finally, she asked me to let her see. I hand her the phone, and she turns it off with the button at the top and then turns it back on. It goes off and then powers back on. She hands it back and says, “It works for me.” “Yes, you can turn it on and off, but you can’t do anything else,” I say getting a little frustrated. Before we could finish this exchange the same lady who had the invisible Blue Tooth customer yells across the store to the girl who was helping me. She asked her about some customer that she had helped earlier and if she had some paper work. The young lady responded that she would grab it in a minute. Apparently the Blue Tooth lady wasn’t satisfied with this answer because she said something along the lines of having the customer on the phone and needing the information asap. The lady who was helping me turned back to me and basically told me in a very dismissive manner that she wasn’t going to be able to fix my problem because I was going to have to contact the manufacturer of the phone. I informed her that I basically knew this was the case, but I have another phone that I could use in the meantime, I just need for her to activate that phone for me instead. She ended up telling me how to do that myself and sent me on the way. I was satisfied with her answer, no matter how dry and abrupt the delivery, but I couldn’t help but wonder why treating someone warmly was clearly not a priority in this store, even if there is no solution to the problem, treating a person warmly doesn’t cost anything. And why is the freakin customer on the phone more important than the one standing in the store?

This has been a source of frustration for me for as long as I can remember, but the innovative technology that we now possess seems to add an even more obnoxious element to situations like this. I don’t expect people to bend over backward for me, nor do I expect them to help me if they don’t want to. In fact, I have learned not to expect much of most people (especially home training). But I do wish that people would exercise simple manners and realize that we should not see the presence of other individuals in the world as a source of annoyance, but rather an opportunity to serve and be served.

Manners and courtesy can take you a long way, they or not a sign of weakness. Sometimes an offer of help carries just as much weight as actually doing a good a deed, and eye contact and a nice warm smile are just two small gestures that can yield large rewards in any situation. Perhaps next time I should forego all of the above though, and be as bitchy to them as they are to me. But of course that will never happen, my mama raised me better than that.