BARPs Revisited

I have finally had the time to work on the first BARP in the BARP Series. For those of you who may not know, a BARP is a Big Ass Ridiculous Purse. I started this painting/photography series a while back when I first returned to the states from Korea because I was just so amazed at how big the purses had gotten. Read More

Bootylicious Confessions in the Freakin Suburbs

Originally Written February 08

So here I sit with a negative balance in my checking account and $4.39 on my Capital One Card.  Oh! Correction! I spent that $4 on a Grande Extra-Caramel, Caramel Frapuccino.

   

 

 

The elixir of the goddesses                  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 You have to order it like that or else it throws the whole thing off.  It’s cool, I like speaking in code.  It is kind of spy-like, Jane Bondish if you will.  So yeah, pretty much I’m broke, with my business bank cards and personal credit cards tucked away in my cute little Prada bag (one of those wonderful Korea finds). Could be a knock off.  Okay, who am I kiddin?  But it is very cute, matches my IPhone, you know, chic like that (the IPhone is one bill that is always paid early cuz a Diva Muse has to have her cell phone. I know it’s shallow, that’s my alter ego talking).

 

                                  Terracotta and graphite drawing of the cutest little Prada Bag ever.

Oh and did I mention that the hot water heater is busted in this big ass ostentatious house that we are renting?  Add that to the four times we had to call the heater guy out this past winter and I would have to say quite sarcastically that the obscene amount of money we pay each month must surely be worth it.

 

Sidebar: Why did the Barista taking my order ask for my first name while holding my credit card in his hand?  He never even looked at it.  It could have been your credit card, but I am sure you have more than $4.39 on yours.  He pretty much spelled my name wrong too. I don’t know who the person was that he put on my cup. But I am thinking that maybe I should be her for awhile. 

 

Back to the original thought. I am not bummed out by the lack of funds. How could I be when there are so many other things to be bummed out by like feeling invisible in my pseudo diverse suburban neighborhood or feeling like a failure because my kids think that I should have a better career besides Mom and Artist. Or figuring out that dogs actually whine like kids which is really annoying.  If nothing else is going my way, I do have to say, I’m still pretty hot for 37.  With looks and style like mine, who really cares if there is no hot water?

Ok, so a sistah can dream right?  LOL

BARPs

One thing that I have noticed that all Sexy Divas have with them at all times is a great bag.  When I was in Korea, let’s just say that I procured quite a few really nice designer bags (ok, yes, a few are knock-offs but they are really good ones).  Of course Korea was a testament in shopping whether for food or clothes or socks or whatever (that is all that anyone ever does there), so in spite of the fact that many of us bought several wonderful designer purses, a lot of us carried backpacks to haul all of the loot from the many shopping trips and saved our cute purses for other outings.  

Returning to the states was indeed a shock, all of the women are carrying these big, huge, gigantic purses.  Each one bigger than the next.  They aren’t just ginormous, but some that I have seen were freakin ugly.  I didn’t understand this fashion trend. Why would a woman carry a purse that was bigger than she was? If you have to carry a purse that big, why not do the backpack thing like we did in Korea? It seemed bizarre.

 

 

 

 

Cute, not too big.  Perfect for a weekend, or for a young lady.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 This one? Not so much.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now I have been known to carry a large purse from time to time, but that is because I tend to carry a lot of stuff, sketchbooks, magazines, pens, etc. But I don’t think that I have carried any purse that is the size of an overnight bag. And most of the ones that I have seen appear to be half empty. So why would anyone want to carry a half empty overnight bag on a daily basis?  You have on a business suit and a big ass silver purse the size of a diaper bag.  Or you are in a nice crisp black skirt, white blouse, pumps and pearls and you are lugging a patent leather garbage bag over your shoulder. I just don’t get it!!! In fact, I started to think that it was kind of funny, so I started taking pictures to document these obnoxious bags whenever I would see them and now they have become the subject of one of my painting series.  “Big Ass Ridiculous Purses” BARPs. 

Above is an unfinished oil,  the first purse in the series. It’s a Dolce and Gabanna bag that a woman was carrying at my favorite place, Starbucks.  I have to admit this one was extremely cute and she was carrying it while wearing jeans, cute flats and a hoodie.  She was casually cute, not a fashion victim at all. Still this purse was “HUGE”!!

I have chosen to focus on this subject as a way of showing how we can be slaves to fashion if we are not careful.  I have always believed that really stylish women set trends, don’t fall prey to every crazy idea that designers may force down their throats, and they always exude an air of classic elegance. The truth is, some of the big bags can be especially cute but most are just hideous. And on another note, how you gonna get a man to hold your bag for you when you are on one of those mega shopping trips? This can come in handy when you have to try on a lot of clothes or search for items in your size, but no man would be caught dead holding something the size of a golf bag with rainbow flowers on it. Ladies, we really have to be a lot more practical.  ( :